| Ian Paisley: ...and furthermore... | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Loyd Grossman: Who would live in a womb like this? | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Tony Blair: You're right Mum - Labour does leave you knackered! | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| President Clinton: Nurse - would you mind putting your hand on this? | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Lord Irving: This wallpaper's got to go! | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| William Hague: I'm always going to look like this! | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Colonel Tom Thumb: Over here! | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Mrs Thatcher: Now we are a baby | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| David Frost: So what's it like to be my Mother then, you must be very proud... | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Winston Churchill: I'm always going to look like this! | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Robin Cook: This is the best I'll ever look! | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Bernie Ecclestone: Over here! | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Charlton Heston: I parted the waters myself! | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Paula Yates: Paula! What sort of a name is Paula?! | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| Mrs Thatcher: No, no, I'll cut the cord & open myself. | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| Mrs Thatcher: Now we are a grand-daughter! | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| Michael Barrymore: I'm out! | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| David Frost: Hello, Good Evening and Talcum. | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| John Major: Mum - Get off this trapeze! | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| Michael Howard: I'm not coming out until I've served my full term! | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| John Redwood: Sorry! Wrong planet! | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| Saddam Hussein: That was the battle of all Mothers! | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| Jeremy Beadle: ...and you thought it was just indigestion! | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| Julian Clary: Never again! | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| Mary Whitehouse: Surely, there must be a better way than this! | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| Clint Eastwood: Go ahead punk - cut my cord |
|
| Tom Jones: No nurse, that's not the umbilical cord! |
|
| Mary Whitehouse: How disgusting! I shouldn't be allowed to see something like this at my age |
|
| Mrs. Thatcher: No U-turns! |
|
| Magnus Magnusson: I've started, so I'll finish |
|
| Larry Grayson, on receiving his first doll: Seems like a nice toy |
|
| Orson Welles, on eating his first meal: Probably the best strained prunes in the world |
|
| Hercule Poirot: I know who did it... |
|
| The triplets born to the wife of PC Reg Garbutt of Penge: Hello, Hello, Hello |
|
| Cyril Smith: Go on then nurse - pick me up |
|
| Paul Daniels: Amazing! I disappeared from the cabinet of swords, and reappeared here! |
10 Mar 1990 |
| Mrs Thatcher: We are a grand-daughter |
10 Mar 1990 |
| Jeremy Beadle: What she doesn't know is I've left a stink bomb in there! |
10 Mar 1990 |
| Carol Thatcher: Mark, I don't care which of us is the eldest, but south is that way |
10 Mar 1990 |
| Denis Thatcher: You must have got something better than milk! |
10 Mar 1990 |
| Frank Carson: ...and the second Irishman said... |
10 Mar 1990 |
| Judge Pickles: If you think this will get you out of going to jail, I'm not coming out |
10 Mar 1990 |
| Thomas Torquemada: Still won't confess, eh? Well, we'll try that again! |
|
| Gazza: Divn't slap me - let me cry first |
|
| George Bush: Watch my arse! |
|
| Clint Eastwood: Go ahead punk. Cut my cord |
|
| Harry Houdini: Ta-daaa!! |
|
| Claire Rayner: Feed me! |
|
| Norman Lamont: I can only come out in the hours of darkness |
|
| Charlton Heston: I'll break the waters, if you dont mind |
|
| Madonna: I've heard of tinned milk, but this is ridiculous |
|
| John Major: Hello. I'm over here |
|
| David Frost: Hello, Good Evening and Talcum. |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Sigmund Freud: Oy. That's scarred me for life |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Clement Freud: Goo-Goo. Oh...Repetition of Goo |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Barbara Cartland: Dada...entered the room, his manly shoulders silhouetted against the... |
19 Oct 1991 |
| The Queen (to the midwife): ...and tell me, have you been doing this job for long? |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Ben Elton: Ben-Ben loves his choo-choo. Yes indeed, ladies and gentlemen, but choo-choos arrive on time and were waiting at the station. They're not there, but... |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Michael Aspel: Mr. Henderson, you thought you were just delivering a baby, but This Is My Life! |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Princess Di: Do you want me to cut the cord? |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Jacques Delors: Hello Mother (actually he said it in French, which is «Allo Mere Delors») |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Archimedes: I'm filthy - where's the bath? |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Neil Kinnock: ...and thirdly... |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Pavarotti: Mama-Mia, it's raining out |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Mark Thatcher: Where am I? |
19 Oct 1991 |
| Harvey Proctor: SLAP Ooh, I liked that! |
19 Oct 1991 |
| The Dalai Lama: Here we go again... |
14 Sep 1987 |
| Arthur Scargill: I'm out. EVERYBODY OUT |
14 Sep 1987 |
| P.K. Botha: Black legs? That can't be right |
14 Sep 1987 |
| The Editor of the Daily Mail: MY NINE MONTHS OF HELL IN LOONY LEFT WOMB |
14 Sep 1987 |
| Jimmy Carter: Ah spose it's to early to be bawn again? |
14 Sep 1987 |
| Alan Whicker: Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa |
11 Feb 1989 |
| David Coleman: Extraordinary! Two minutes, thirty eight point five seconds |
11 Feb 1989 |
| Mark Thatcher: Where am I? |
11 Feb 1989 |
| Paul Raymond: Cor, I ain't 'alf thirsty mum, I fancy a large one! |
11 Feb 1989 |
| The Dalai Lama: As I was saying... |
11 Feb 1989 |
| Adolf Hitler: Ziss isn't Poland! |
11 Feb 1989 |
| Mr McDonald (the hamburger king): Hey! Those dirty nappies give me a great idea... |
11 Feb 1989 |
| Little Richard: Goo goo ga ga goo-bop-a-luma | Oxford
20 Jun 1992 |
| Elton John: Gimme a hat! Gimme a hat! Don't look at my head! Don't look at my head! | Oxford
20 Jun 1992 |
| Robert Maxwell: Trust me | Oxford
20 Jun 1992 |
| John Major: This is a very exciting way to be born, Mother, but they've taken away the safety net | Oxford
20 Jun 1992 |
| Oliver Reed: Is that surgical spirit, nurse? | Oxford
20 Jun 1992 |
| Tom Jones: No nurse, that's not the umbilical cord | Oxford
20 Jun 1992 |
| Michael Winner: Cut! I'd like to go again love - lots more screaming this time | Oxford
20 Jun 1992 |
| Gerald Kaufmann: I must call home | Oxford
20 Jun 1992 |
| Noel Coward: A womb with a view... | Oxford
20 Jun 1992 |
| Frank Sinatra: This is positively my last appearance | Oxford
20 Jun 1992 |
| Oedipus: I'll be back | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| That Geordie bloke off Big Brother: Day One, and I've been evicted | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Hans Blik: No. Didn't find anything there either | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Alfred Hitchcock: BOO!! | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Jeffrey Archer: I've just been found under a gooseberry bush | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Sting: Da-doo-doo-doo Da-da-da-da | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Tequin Whittock: COUGH | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Vinnie Jones: Just try smacking me | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Rolf Harris: Can you see what I am yet? | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Phillip Larkin: Oh! Thanks for nothing! | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Gordon Brown: Hang on - before I decide if I'm in or out, there are five tests to be met | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Leslie Phillips: Well hello nurse! | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Anne Robinson: Well, who's packet of three had more holes than St Andrews? | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Boutros Boutros Gali: For heaven's sake, don't let the stuttering priest do the christening | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Andrew Lloyd-Webber: What do you mean "I wouldn't feed him if I were you"? | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Rick Parfitt of Status Quo: Where are the other two chords? | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Patrick Moore: Do you know, this is the first time I've seen Ma's | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Alan Whicker: Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa Whaa |
22 Jan 1990 |
| David Coleman: Extraordinary! Two minutes, thirty eight point five seconds |
22 Jan 1990 |
| Mark Thatcher: Where am I? |
22 Jan 1990 |
| Paul Raymond: Cor, I ain't 'alf thirsty mum, I fancy a large one! |
22 Jan 1990 |
| The Dalai Lama: As I was saying... |
22 Jan 1990 |
| Adolf Hitler: Ziss isn't Poland! |
22 Jan 1990 |
| Mr McDonald (the hamburger king): Hey! Those dirty nappies give me a great idea... |
22 Jan 1990 |
