Nana Mouskouri: Seeks life partner. Must have good sense of humus. | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Quasimodo: Do you love a sexy French accent, and are prepared to overlook a couple of things... Guaranteed to bring a new meaning to humping! | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Chris Tarrant: Quiz show host seeks broad minded lady, prepared to ask an audience, phone a friend and go fifty-fifty. | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Spiderwoman: Attractive superhero with good pair of legs...pair of legs...pair of legs...pair of legs...and own website WLTM the invisible man - please send photograph. | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
[ Edwina Currie: wishes to meet randy publisher. Object - cut out the middle man Not broadcast] | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
[ The Pope: SNCD. Sorry, no can do Not broadcast] | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
[ Jamie Oliver: Head cook seeks bottle washer Not broadcast] | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Zsa-Zsa Gabor: Zsa-Zsa Gabor wishes to meet Jean Michel Jarre. Object - to become Zsa-Zsa Jarre. | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
[ Alan Titchmarsh: wishes to meet gardener with big boobs. Please send photograph of mower Not broadcast] | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Stephen Hawking: No time wasters. | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
[ Alfred The Great: Seeks any woman. I'm not that great. Cake baker preferred Not broadcast] | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Britney Spears: Britney Spears lookalike seeks Bryan Ferry lookalike with a view to producing lots of little Britney Ferrys. | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
[ Tara Palmer-Tomkinson: Vacuous freeloader WLTM...well anybody really Not broadcast] | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
[ Adam: Anybody out there? Not broadcast] | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Robin Cook: Cosmetically-challenged Scotsman seeks anything with a pulse. | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
John Prescott: Companion wanted in a sense...er...must be good listener in so far as we all understand the listening capacity which may hitherto have been...well you understand what I'm talking about, I've said it before. GHOS essential. And furthermore... | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Mother of four seeks companionship. One needs a bit of peace and quiet. Can meet at one of our Palaces. No Greeks. | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Thomas Alva Edison: Thomas Alva Edison seeks sound woman. Please send phonograph. | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
[ Osama Bin Laden: Sexy bearded man seeks hardy type to share long days and nights in caves, crouching behind a rock. Willingness to self-immolate an advantage Not broadcast] | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
[ Joan Of Arc: Non-smoker, right? Not broadcast] | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
[ Joan Of Arc: wishes to meet male, 14th or 15th century. No arsonists or faggots Not broadcast] | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Paul Burrell: Former Royal arselicker seeks partner for evening's camping and cruising. | Blackpool 02 Dec 2002 |
Joan of Arc: WLTM Fireman. No faggots need apply. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |
The Pope: Reclusive infallible prelate seeks albino assassin to supress truth about Jesus. Sorry, no blacks or Jews. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |
Lot (from the Old Testament): Sodomite requires soul mate. Non smoker, GSOH. Must be willing to travel, no looking back. Fun loving character, preferably salt of the earth. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |
Himmler: Seeks someone similar, with four testicles. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |
Francis Bacon: WLTM the Earl of Sandwich. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |
Jane Austen: Accomplished lady novellist seeks husband whose intelligence and character is of such substance that she might escape the tedium of evenings spent listening to the empty twitterings of her sisters, and seeks solace instead in the company of a companion whose love and constancy she will never have cause to doubt. Must have nice arse. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |
Michaelangelo: WLTM woman interested in gazing at ceilings. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |
Narcissus: Seeks...no, hang on a minute...no one else required. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |
Pablo Picasso: Seeks woman with one eye and ear on forehead. GSOH. Or tin of sardines. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |
Mary Magdalene: Seeks Saviour, view matrimony and raising a family. Must be able to do miracles and keep a secret. No time wasters please. Reply in code only. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |
Sven-Goran Eriksson: Stylish Swede seeks woman. Must have pulse. | Birmingham 05 Jun 2006 |