[ NICHOLAS SOAMES: Is it true you've had your shower curtain let out? Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
ROY HUDD: Where's your emu? | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
Table for Mr. Stringfellow and his grand-daughter | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
Fancy a curry, Mr. Major? | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
LESLIE GRANTHAM: Leslie - What's up? | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ ULRIKKA JOHNSSON: I'm Tim Brooke-Taylor. Do you fan... Oh, you've gone Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
PIERS MORGAN: Is it true your passport photo's a fake? | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ I'd like to apply for a job as a prison guard. I've got my own camera. Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ PONTIUS PILOT: Have you heard the good news about Jesus? Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
Well, I must say Ant, you're the best ventriloquist I've ever seen | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ CHER: You must be a model. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a waxwork! Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
You must meet George Best - he's our designated driver tonight | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ OSAMA BIN LADEN: You haven't got a bottle opener have you? Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ Hello. Is that The Samaritans? I'm just ringing to say I'm extatically happy! Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
GEORGE W. BUSH: Is English your first language? | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD: Why, Miss Widdicombe, you've lost weight | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
Kiss me Hardy. Oh, Jeremy's gone now... | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ HUMPHREY LYTTELTON: Kenny Ball - The governor eh? Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ JEFFREY ARCHER: This is your life Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ THE POPE: How's the wife? Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
RUSSELL CROWE: I suppose everybody confuses you with Russell Grant | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
PABLO PICASSO: A word in your eye | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
PRINCESS MICHAEL OF KENT: Why don't you go back to Berktesgarten? | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ PAUL BURRELL: Come on you, turn your pockets out Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ GARRY BUSHELL: Funny - you don't look gay Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ PAUL McCARTNEY: I am such a fan of The Beatles Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
You'll like this house Mr. Goliath. It's only a stones throw from the centre | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
JONATHAN MILLER: Here's something you won't know | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
Hello Godot. What are you doing here? | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ TOM JONES: My great grandmother is such a fan of yours Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
[ VINNIE JONES: That shirt's a bit girlie, isn't it? Not broadcast] | Salford 28 Jun 2004 |
TRACY EMIN: I hope you've made your bed! | Kevin Hale
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Leonardo da Vinci to MONA LISA: ...and you can wipe that grin off your face! | Kevin Hale
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JOHN CONSTABLE: Tell me, why did you call that bloke in the cart Wayne? | Kevin Hale
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NERO: My God! I thought you'd stood on the cat while trying to escape from the blaze! | Kevin Hale
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DR. CRIPPEN: How's the wife? | Kevin Hale
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MUSSOLINI: What are you hanging around here for? | Kevin Hale
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BOB DYLAN: How are Dougal & Florence? | Kevin Hale
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RONALD REAGAN: How's Carter? | Kevin Hale
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SWEENEY TODD: A little more off the top, please | Kevin Hale
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GEORGE DUBYA BUSH: Hi - Here's your free sample from Pete's Pretzels | Kevin Hale
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DR. SPOCK: What's the planet Vulcan like at this time of year? | Kevin Hale
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HENRY FORD: But I want a white one! | Kevin Hale
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LADY GODIVA: Good morning. I'm from the Health & Safety Department. Your hair is unsafe at that length, and must be tied up above shoulder height... | Kevin Hale
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LADY CHATTERLEY: ...and when did you take on David Mellor as gardener? | Kevin Hale
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PHIL TUFNELL: KEEP OFF THE GRASS! | Kevin Hale
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H.G. WELLS: How do you feel about being evicted from the Big Brother house? | Kevin Hale
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QUEEN VICTORIA: Have you heard the one about the Englishman, the Irishman and the Scotsman? | Kevin Hale
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GARETH HUNT: How do you feel about your name becoming part of Cockney Rhyming Slang? | Kevin Hale
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DOUGLAS HURD: How do you feel about your name becoming part of Cockney Rhyming Slang? | Kevin Hale
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SHERLOCK HOLMES: I'm from the Drugs Squad | Kevin Hale
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DR. LIVINGSTONE: Ken Livingstone, I presume? | Kevin Hale
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HAROLD SHIPMAN: Do you have a lot of patience? | Kevin Hale
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RUTH ELLIS: I bet you're a bit of a swinger! | Kevin Hale
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THE WRIGHT BROTHERS: Bet you lads can't do a loop-the-loop in that thing | Kevin Hale
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JOHN PRESCOTT: Here's your bus pass, Mr. Prescott | Kevin Hale
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HUMPHREY LYTTELTON: You're that trumpeter fellow Kenny Ball, aren't you? | Kevin Hale
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PRINCE PHILIP: I'm here to revoke your shotgun licence | Kevin Hale
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