| ...so while Samantha & I pop out to check my dipstick... (during the Car Mechanics' Song Book round) | Hackney
18 Nov 1995 |
| ...so while Samantha & I nip out for a quick tumble, and later drop in to Sketchley's to put some starch in my dickey... (during the Launderette Attendants' Film Club round) | Brighton
01 Jun 1996 |
| ...so while Samantha pops out to French polish her tall boy... (during the Furniture Makers' Song Book round) | Brighton
08 Jun 1996 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to enjoy a portion of local winkles in cider... (during the Fishermen's Book Club round) | Plymouth
07 Jun 1999 |
| ...so while Samantha pops out to enjoy a large pull-out supplement... (during the Newsagents' Song Book round) | Harrogate
25 Nov 1995 |
| ...so while Samantha gets to grips with an unexpected warm front... (during the Weather Forecasters' Film Club round) | Harrogate
02 Dec 1995 |
| ...so before I nip out with Samantha for a time-honoured blow on the sea front... (during the Butchers' Film Club round & the Doctors' Song Book round) | Brighton (d?)
03 Jun 1995 |
| ...so before I nip out with Samantha for a time-honoured blow on the sea front... (during the Butchers' Film Club round & the Doctors' Song Book round) | ISIHAC 3, Side 3 |
| ...so while Samantha goes off for a few days with the lads of the Guildford Hounds - she says you can't beat fourteen hands of hunter underneath you... (during the Late Arrivals at the Countryman's Ball round) | Guildford
31 May 1999 |
| ...so while Samantha nips backstage to enjoy twenty King Size Players... (during the Smokers' Film Club round) | Bath
07 Jun 1997 |
| ...so while Samantha enjoys a quick session on my laptop... (during the Computer Programmers' Song Book round) | Bath
14 Jun 1997 |
| ...so while Samantha pops out into the audience to check for signs of life... (during the Undertakers' Song Book round) | Watford
10 Jun 1995 |
| ...so while Samantha pops out into the audience to check for signs of life... (during the Undertakers' Song Book round) | ISIHAC 3, Side 2 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to blow the station master's whistle... (during the Train Drivers' Film Club round) | Watford
17 Jun 1995 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to meet a roofer in order to get felt laid down in the loft... (during the Builders' Film Club round) | Northampton
23 Nov 1996 |
| ...Samantha has to nip down to the allotment to help a nice gentleman put fertilizer on his tomato plants...she's surprisingly keen to see his Gro-More in the potting shed... (during the Vegetable Song Book round) | Nottingham
21 Jun 1999 |
| ...so as Samantha tells me it's time to let her whippet out... (during the Dog Fanciers' Song Book round) | Northampton
30 Nov 1996 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip out to greet a gentleman friend who's something of a shoe enthusiast. Last time she met him, he was in his plimsolls with a crepe sole and felt upper... (during the Cobblers' Film Club round) | Nottingham
28 Jun 1999 |
| ...so while Samantha pops out to get her new bob to the length she likes... (during the Hairdressers' Song Book round) | Wimbledon
08 Nov 1997 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip across to Regent's Park Zoo to help look for a missing snake, & she's promised not to return until she finds the keeper's adder behind the reptile house... (during the Late Arrivals at the Zookeepers' Ball round) | Wimbledon
15 Nov 1997 |
| Samantha has got to go off early to meet an entomologist friend who's been showing her his collection of winged insects. They've already covered his bees and wasps, & tonight she's hoping to go through his flies... (during the Late Arrivals at the Insects' Ball round) | Woking
22 May 2000 |
| Samantha has to nip out to take her german shepherd to the park to give him a stroke, while he licks her face and pants... (during the Dog Breeders' Radio Times round) | Woking
29 May 2000 |
| ...so while Samantha pops out to check her little Constable's properly hung... (during the Painters' Film Club round) | West End
26 Nov 1994 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to nibble on her favourite bit of Leicester... (during the Cheesemakers' Film Club round) | South Bank
19 Jun 2000 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to nibble on her favourite bit of Leicester... (during the Cheesemakers' Film Club round) | ISIHAC 6, Side 4 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip off to a rare breeds farm where they still plough with huge beasts of burden. She's become friendly with a couple of farm hands who are going to show her their gigantic ox... (during the Farmers' Radio Times round) | Stoke-on-Trent
12 Jun 2000 |
| Samantha has to nip out again to see an elderly Lord who regularly complains to Radio 4 about their parliamentary coverage. She says she thinks he's even going to start getting a little hard on Today In Parliament... (during the Pensioners' Book Club round) | South Bank
26 Jun 2000 |
| ...so while Samantha & I nip out with my flexible friend to make a large withdrawal... (during the Bankers' Film Club round) | Cheltenham
29 Jun 1996 |
| ...so while Samantha & I nip out with my flexible friend to make a large withdrawal... (during the Bankers' Film Club round) | ISIHAC 4, Side 1 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to enjoy a mouthful of Leicester... (during the Late Arrivals at the Cheesemakers' Ball round) | Cheltenham
06 Jul 1996 |
| ...so while Samantha checks our panel for any signs of life in the old chaps... (during the Late Arrivals at the Undertakers' Ball round) | Cambridge
07 Dec 1996 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to enjoy a mouthful of Jacob's... (during the Biscuit Makers' Film Club round) | Cambridge
14 Dec 1996 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to enjoy a mouthful of Jacob's... (during the Biscuit Makers' Film Club round) | ISIHAC 4, Side 4 |
| Samantha tells me she's off on a mountaineering course with a couple of chaps she knows are equipt, like Wales, & enjoy a rarebit... (during the Welsh Film Festival round) | Leeds
11 May 1998 |
| Samantha tells me she's off on a mountaineering course with a couple of chaps she knows are equipt, like Wales, & enjoy a rarebit... (during the Welsh Film Festival round) | ISIHAC 5, Side 3 |
| Samantha says she likes to keep in trim lifting weights, so while she nips out to her new gym to enjoy a good half hours pumping... (during the Late Arrivals at the Overweight Ball round) | Leeds
18 May 1998 |
| Senior stylist Samantha has been called back to the salon, where there's a regular client waiting to have his length adjusted, before she finishes him off with an expert blow... (during the Hairdressers' Film Club round) | Windsor
28 Apr 1998 |
| Before we start, Samantha has to pop off to continue her evening job trying out country house hotel rooms for a travel guide book. She tells me she enjoys a different local inn every night... (during the Late Arrivals at the Hoteliers' Ball round) | Windsor
04 May 1998 |
| Incidentally, Samantha tells me she's off with a team of local paramedics this evening. They're so excited at the thought, they can't wait for her to arrive so they can get their ambulance & stretcher out for the night... (during the Hospital Book Club round) | Glasgow
07 Dec 1998 |
| ...so as Samantha heads off to the Highland Games to admire the contestants in the caber competition, and perhaps have a go at tossing one or two herself... (during the Late Arrivals at the Scottish Ball round) | Glasgow
07 Dec 1998 |
| Samantha was telling us she's off to help the elderly gentleman who's moving to a home from the flat beneath hers. She was always popping in to make sure everything was okay down below, and as a result, he became a surprisingly firm friend. She says it's a shame she couldn't have known him longer... (during the Pensioners' Song Book round) | Birmingham
28 Dec 1998 |
| Samantha tells me she's had to nip out to meet a nice chap who's training her in computer skills. Tonight, she hopes he's going to show her the 3.5 inch floppy he's got in his Mac... (during the Computer Operators' Film Club round) | Birmingham
04 Jan 1999 |
| Samantha has to nip off the the National Opera, where she's been giving private tuitions to the singers. Having seen what she did with the baritone, the director is keen to see what she might do for a tenor... (during the Welsh Song Book round) | Cardiff
14 Dec 1998 |
| Samantha tells us she's taking her test this week. She says she can't wait to climb aboard her little Morris to demonstrate the correct use of the horn in a built up area... (during the Late Arrivals at the Driving Instructors' Ball round) | Cardiff
21 Dec 1998 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip out to help an old man next door who has trouble using his stairlift. She goes in every night to put him on downstairs, & then pulls him off on the landing... (during the Pensioners' Film Club round) | Islington
06 Dec 1997 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip out to help an old man next door who has trouble using his stairlift. She goes in every night to put him on downstairs, & then pulls him off on the landing... (during the Pensioners' Film Club round) | ISIHAC 5, Side 4 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip home, as she's got a man coming in to start work on her new patio. He's bringing round his cement mixer, & he's promised to lay her roughly across the foundations... (during the Builders' Song Book round) | York
08 Nov 1999 |
| Samantha tells me she recently purchased a Tudor tankard bearing an engraved ode, believed to be by Shakespeare himself. Next week, she's taking it to be valued by the Antiques Roadshow program. We can't wait to see Hugh Scully examining her jug sonnet... (during the Late Arrivals at the Shakespearean Ball round) | Cardiff
21 Dec 1998 |
| Samantha tells us she's off to a gourmet evening, where her favourite French chef has prepared a nine course dinner. Looking at the menu, she says she's not so keen on some of his traditional dishes, but she's spotted something tempting between the Frog's Legs and the Boeuf En Croute, which also looks nice... (during the Late Arrivals at the Frenchmans' Ball round) | Greenwich
06 Dec 1999 |
| Samantha has to nip out to the House of Lords with her constituency friend. He's looking for support for his MP who's facing expulsion, and Samantha says it's important to have a good Peer if his Member's likely to be out... (during the Parliamentary Song Book round) | Milton Keynes
29 Nov 1999 |
| ...so while Samantha & I nip out to put an edge on my little chopper... (during the Lumberjacks' Film Club round) | Bath
05 Nov 1994 |
| ...so while Samantha pops out to the local Shakespeare archive to enjoy the complete works... (during the Elizabethan Film Club round) | Stratford-Upon- Avon
16 Dec 1995 |
| ...so while I enjoy another carol, and Samantha unwraps her game-boy... (during the Late Arrivals at Santa's Christmas Ball round) | 1993 Xmas Special
25 Dec 1993 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris... (during the Motor Mechanics' Film Club round) | Bury St Edmunds
20 Nov 1993 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris... (during the Motor Mechanics' Film Club round) | ISIHAC 2, Side 1 |
| ...so while Samantha nips over to Prague for a quick check-up... (during the Doctors' Book Club round) | London (??)
25 Jun 1994 |
| ...so while Samantha nips over to Prague for a quick check-up... (during the Doctors' Book Club round) | ISIHAC 2, Side 2 |
| ...so while Samantha nips out to check how well equipped her new gym is... (during the Weightwatchers' Song Book round) | Canterbury
05 Jul 1997 |
| ...so while Samantha & I pop home to wax my parquet... (during the Late Arrivals at the Travel Agents' Ball round) | 03 Mar 1990 |
| ...so while Samantha & I pop backstage to whet my whistle... (during the Late Arrivals at the Fashion Ball round) | 10 Mar 1990 |
| ...so before Samantha & I go off for a blow on the sea front... (during the Limericks round) | Brighton
22 Jun 1991 |
| ...so before Samantha & I go off to grease my trumpet valves... (during the Limericks round) | Brighton
29 Jun 1991 |
| ...so while Samantha & I go off to compare our meat subsidies... (during the Late Arrivals at the Euro Ball round) | 17 Nov 1990 |
| ...so while Samantha & I go off to press my trousers... (during the Late Arrivals at the Circus Performers' Ball round) | 08 Dec 1990 |
| ...so while Samantha & I go off to tend my allotment... (during the Late Arrivals at the Cowboys' & Indians' Ball round) | 15 Dec 1990 |
| ...so while Samantha & I go off to water my azalea... (during the Late Arrivals at the Scouts' & Guides' Camping Jamboree Ball round) | Westminster Theatre
22 Dec 1990 |
| ...so while Samantha & I go off for a roll in the canteen... (during the Limericks round) | 19 Oct 1991 |
| Incidentally, Samantha's just returned from congratulating a local builder friend who's successfully bid for a contract this week. He says she was delighted to see his little firm won... (during the Late Arrivals at the Builders' Ball round) | Canterbury
12 Jul 1997 |
| Incidentally, Samantha's just returned from congratulating a local builder friend who's successfully bid for a contract this week. He says she was delighted to see his little firm won... (during the Late Arrivals at the Builders' Ball round) | 1997 Xmas Special Compilation
25 Dec 1997 |
| Incidentally, Samantha's just returned from congratulating a local builder friend who's successfully bid for a contract this week. He says she was delighted to see his little firm won... (during the Late Arrivals at the Builders' Ball round) | ISIHAC 5, Side 1 |
| Samantha has had to pop out to meet her banker friend from Zurich...she's obviously keen to hold Swiss Franks while there's still growth... (during the Late Arrivals at the Stockbrokers' Ball round) | Newcastle
29 Nov 1997 |
| Samantha has to nip off to the coast now for a spot of lobster fishing with some lads on their boat. They never forget where they've dropped their pots, becasue it's where Samantha tossed a large bouy over the side... (during the Fishermen's Radio Times round) | Coventry
27 Nov 2000 |
| Samantha tells me she's been training as a jockey for a leading race horse owner. She's hoping to be entered at Newmarket next week for 2000 guineas... (during the Late Arrivals at the Equestrian Ball round) | Coventry
04 Dec 2000 |
| Samantha has to nip out to meet a nice old colonel who promised to show her his parade ground, & might even let her inspect his privates... (during the Late Arrivals at the Military Ball round) | High Wycombe
11 Dec 2000 |
| Samantha has just started keeping bees and already has three dozen or so. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration - he'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head... (during the Bee Keepers' Film Club round) | Reading
28 May 2001 |
| Samantha has to nip away to be photographed for a double page feature in the Radio Times. The editor says in case she needs any touching up, he wants to inspect her spread on his desk first... (during the Spanish Radio Times round) | Sheffield
11 Jun 2001 |
| Samantha has to rush off to meet her new footballer friend. He's very busy playing in the first and second rounds of an international, but she says there should be just time to give him a quick kiss between the legs... (during the Ladies' Film Club round) | Norwich
25 Jun 2001 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip out to the local golf course, where she's caddying for a nice old gentleman. She's learnt all about the different types of club, and she says if he gets stuck in an awkward lay, she'll pull out his wood and niblick... (during the Golfers' Film Club round) | Wolverhampton
12 Nov 2001 |
| Our resident I.T. expert Samantha tells me she has to nip out to meet a young man who's having problems configuring his new P.C. She says he's just called to say zip is down, his floppy keeps popping out, and he feels he needs more bytes on it... (during the Late Arrivals at the I.T. Ball round) | Wolverhampton
19 Nov 2001 |
| Samantha has to go now, as she's off to meet her Italian gentleman friend, who's taking her out for an ice cream. She says she likes nothing better than to spend the evening licking the nuts off a large Neopolitan... (during the Italian Radio Times round) | Brighton
26 Nov 2001 |
| Samantha has to nip out to meet a yachting friend who's a bit down in the dumps and stuck indoors. She says he's not been feeling himself lately, so she's going to get him out in her little boat. When she feels there's a swell on, she'll know his pecker's up again... (during the Pessimists' Song Book round) | Brighton
03 Dec 2001 |
| Samantha has to nip out now, as she's just heard that her gentlemen's outfitter friend has won Salesman Of The Year, and she's keep to rush over and surprise him with a big kiss in the trouser department, where he's been specially outstanding... (during the Late Arrivals at the Menswear Department Ball round) | Bristol
10 Dec 2001 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip off now, as she's auditioning as an extra in The Bill. She's really looking forward to that. According to the script, her character gets fingered by the fuzz... (during the Policemens' Song Book round) | Bristol
17 Dec 2001 |
| Samantha tells me she has to pop out now, as she does a few chores for an elderly gentleman who lives nearby. She shows him how to use the washing machine and then goes out to prune his fruit trees. Later he'll be hanging out his pyjamas as he watches her beaver away up the ladder... (during the Late Arrivals at the Pensioners' Ball round) | 30th Anniversary Special
13 Apr 2002 |
| Samantha has to nip off now to meet her constituency chairman for a trip to The House, as she says his member's going up for an all night session... (during the Late Arrivals at the Parliamentary Ball round) | Bradford
20 May 2002 |
| Samantha has to nip off now, as her plumber is sending round the man who does her annual safety test on her gas boiler which always gives her great peace of mind. She says it's good to feel the plumber's tester calls at regular intervals... (during the Plumbers' Song Book round) | Bradford
27 May 2002 |
| Samantha tells me she has to go now, as she needs to nip out to see her local pharmacist. He keeps a wide range of tanning cream for her legs, and he's always happy to spread them out for her on the counter... (during the Pharmacists' Song Book round) | Leicester
03 Jun 2002 |
| Samantha says she has to nip off now, as she's been invited to stay with her new gentleman friend in his Bordeaux chateau. He's asked her to help taste some of his vintage clarets, and she's looking forward to trying a robust eighty-six, and a rather tempting seventy-two, before joining him in the cellar to enjoy a full-bodied sixty-nine... (during the French Radio Times round) | Leicester
10 Jun 2002 |
| Samantha has to nip off now as she's selling her seaside apartment. She tells me she's got a man coming round who's keen to inspect her flat out on the beach... (during the Estate Agents' Song Book round) | Hastings
17 Jun 2002 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip off to a special Welsh Conservative Association dinner for their most senior MP, whose name is said to be almost impossible to pronounce. She's certainly found the longest standing Welsh member a bit of a mouthful... (during the Conservative Party Song Book round) | Malvern
18 Nov 2002 |
| Our own Samantha is something of a keen horsewoman, and tells me that she's off to see a trainer who's offered her the chance of a couple of races he wants her to contest. She's quite excited, as he's prepared to drop his jockeys to enter her at Newmarket... (during the Late Arrivals at the Equestrian Ball round) | Malvern
25 Nov 2002 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip out now to meet two young vicar friends who've promised to exorcise a poltergeist in her flat. They say that they're looking forward to stopping her furniture flying round the room, and giving her the willies... (during the Devil's Song Book round) | Blackpool
02 Dec 2002 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip out now as she's off to see her personal trainer for a fitness demonstration. She says she's looking forward to him showing how he gets the fat down and pounds off in front of her... (during the Weightwatchers' Book Club round) | Blackpool
09 Dec 2002 |
| Samantha tells me she has to go now, as she's off to the country residence of her new gentleman friend who has some interesting birds in the thicket. He keeps a young chicken, but Samantha says there are also wild breeds there, and she can't wait his woodcock, poulet and swallow... (during the Ornithologists' Song Book round) | Sadler's Wells
16 Dec 2002 |
| Samantha has to leave now as she's hosting a traditional Cockney music and dance night with the Pearly King & Queen at a nearby pub. All the locals are saying they can't wait to see her knees up round the King's Head... (during the Late Arrivals at the Dancers' Ball round) | Sadler's Wells
23 Dec 2002 |
| Samantha has just nipped out to judge the winner at a Duke of Edinburgh lookalike competition lunch. She assures me she'll be straight back as soon as she's had her fill... | Steve Thompson |
| It's one week to payday and Samantha's slipped out to see her Catholic Bank manager. She wants to reassure him that there's no need to make an early withdrawal on her account... | Steve Thompson |
| Samantha tell me she's expecting a visit from a film producer in her dressing room after the show, with news of a part he's been holding for her. He seems sure she's going to make it big! | Liverpool
16 Nov 1996 |
| Samantha tell me she's expecting a visit from a film producer in her dressing room after the show, with news of a part he's been holding for her. He seems sure she's going to make it big! | ISIHAC 4, Side 3 |
| Incidentally, Samantha tells me she's off after the show to meet a nice gentleman for an Italian meal. She's looking forward to some spaghetti, perhaps a little ravioli, & no doubt a large portion of gnocchi. | Brighton
27 May 1995 |
| Samantha was telling us before the show that she's been visiting a nice gentleman racehorse owner in his stables recently. She doesn't know much about racing, but she's already seen something to admire in his jockeys. | Bath
14 Jun 1997 |
| Samantha was telling us before the show that she's been visiting a nice gentleman racehorse owner in his stables recently. She doesn't know much about racing, but she's already seen something to admire in his jockeys. | ISIHAC 5, Side 3 |
| Incidentally, Samantha often uses our trips around the Country as a chance to nose about after local craftware & ceramics, and she tells me she enjoyed a little potter this afternoon. | Cheltenham
29 Jun 1996 |
| Incidentally, Samantha wasted no time in visiting many of the charming local shops, & after an enjoyable root among the antiques, she's brought back a lovely tall-boy. | Bath
12 Nov 1994 |
| Actually, there's exciting news, as Samantha tells me she's been asked to appear in Countdown's Dictionary Corner. She says all she has to do is sit with her legs under a desk covered with reference books, and open them for Richard Stilgoe to get his nose stuck in... (during the What's The Christmas Question Quiz round) | 2001 Xmas Special
24 Dec 2001 |
| ...and to score for us today, taking a night off from her successful run in pantomine - she's done wonders with the important part of the principal boy... | 1993 Xmas Special
25 Dec 1993 |
| ...and to score for us today, taking a night off from her successful run in pantomine - she's done wonders with the important part of the principal boy... | 1994 Xmas Special Compilation
25 Dec 1994 |
| Incidentally, Samantha was telling me she went vegetarian this year, but she says she has had some pheasant & a bit of partridge this yuletide...perhaps she'll even enjoy a little goose. Either way, it's nice to see her back on the game... | 1996 Xmas Special
25 Dec 1996 |
| Samantha was telling us before the show about her new young man, who, after a series of minor roles, has landed the lead in pantomime...she says there's nothing to beat the enjoyment of having the large part of Aladdin... | 1999 Xmas Special
25 Dec 1999 |
| Incidentally, Samantha tells me she's been away making a road safety film for the Department of Transport...she says she's had some interesting experiences with sleeping policemen, not to mention humps in residential side streets. | Unknown |
| Our scorer tonight is a lovely lady who's taken the opportunity of our visit here to have a rewarding poke around the back streets...a very warm hand please for Samantha. | Windsor
28 May 1994 |
| Our scorer tonight is a lovely lady who's taken the opportunity of our visit here to have a rewarding poke around the back streets...a very warm hand please for Samantha. | ISIHAC 2, Side 1 |
| Oxford is, incidentally, a city that holds fond memories for our regular scorer Samantha, for it was here that she got her first...thanks to a helpful old don, & her second thanks to an obliging member of the University rugby team. Unfortunately, Samantha can't be with us today, as she's currently enjoying an unexpected role in the West End... | Oxford
11 Jun 1994 |
| I'm afraid our usual scorer Samantha isn't here tonight, as she's just moved her contract service business to a first floor flat, & a new neighbour has asked her to fit in the old gentleman downstairs. | Brighton
21 Jun 1997 |
| Sadly our regular scorer Samantha can't be with us this week, as she's preparing for a cultural exchange in Lapland. She's round at the local Scandinavian club trying a spot of Lap Dancing. | Guildford
24 May 1999 |
| I'm afraid our regular scorer Samantha can't be with us today, she's off making an experimental art film with a daring new producer who, I understand, is looking for an early release...with good behaviour, he could be out in six months! | West End
03 Dec 1994 |
| I'm afraid our regular scorer Samantha can't be with us today, as she's helping an elderly neighbour clear out for a house move. This morning, she sorted his box room, and later, she's going to join him in the attic to have a good rummage in his trunks. | Stoke-on-Trent
05 Jun 2000 |
| I'm afraid our regular scorer Samantha can't be with us today. She was advised to have a couple of days in bed by her new GP after discovering a different practice...she reckons a day or two under the doctor should sort her out. | Southsea
25 May 1998 |
| Sadly our usual scorer Samantha can't be with us today. She's on a language exchange in Southern Spain, where she's hoping to pick up a little Andalucian & enjoy the local tongue. | Milton Keynes
22 Nov 1999 |
| Sadly our regular scorer, the delightful Samantha, has been filming a new Comedy of Errors directed by Ken Russell. She doesn't know the film's title yet, but I'm assured it's well up to his usual standard. Of course, any young actress who's worked with Mr. Russell will be familiar with his famous 'Lear'. | Stratford-Upon-Avon
09 Dec 1995 |
| Regrettably, our scorer Samantha has yet to return from the Bury St Edmunds International Grass Skirt & Ukelele Eistedfodd, where she's been asked to stay on for the 'Most Original Lei' finals. | London
04 Dec 1993 |
| Well unfortunately the lovely Samantha, our regular scorer, has been incapacitated whilst filming an educational video for the Finnish Naturist Association. The director, Yurgist Plank, says Samantha suffered slight chafing after standing too close to the accordianist in the picnic scene. | London
11 Dec 1993 |
| Unfortunately the lovely Samantha, our long time scorer can't be with us today, as she's been accidentally signed up for Nottingham Forest. | Paris Theatre, London
28 Nov 1992 |
| Samantha wasn't with us for that first show. Because she'd just won 'Longest Legs of the Year 1972' and was in great demand for supermarket promotion work, she was busy opening them several times a day. | 30th Anniversary Special
13 Apr 2002 |
| ...and it's with some distress that I have to inform you that the lovely Samantha, who scores for us, has been unfortunately delayed on an all-girls working holiday in the Caribbean, generously funded by a nice man in Soho... | 02 Nov 1991 |
| ...it's almost time now for Samantha and myself to nip off for another quick blow on the seafront... (during the Late Arrivals at the Hairdressers' Ball round) | Brighton
13 Jun 1992 |
| Listeners to the last programme may remember that our regular scorer Samantha has been accidentally signed by Brian Clough, who was said to be looking for some new talent up front... | Paris Theatre, London
05 Dec 1992 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she has a cookery lesson with her new chef gentleman friend, who's been teaching her cake decoration. He has all sorts of professional kitchen equipment, and as Samantha is having trouble keeping enough pressure on her icing dispenser for complete coverage, he's promised to show her how to squeeze his hard onto the top of the cake... (during the Women Only Film Club round) | Darlington
26 May 2003 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip off now, as her trusted aged gardener is coming round to identify the mysterious trailing plant that's growing in her privet. Obviously she's keen not to miss him if there's a chance she might have an Old Man's Beard in her bush... (during the Gardeners' Theatre Club round) | Darlington
26 May 2003 |
| I was privileged to come across Samantha at a New Year party. Afterwards, she told me that her new boyfriend had made a considerable effort to impress her over the festive season. By questioning her lady friends, he'd discovered her weakness for expensive lotions and unguents, which she kept in the various compartments of her dressing table, and decided to surprise her with the most expensive examples he could find. When she woke up on Christmas morning, Samantha was delighted to discover that, no doubt dressed as Santa Claus, he had slipped in during the night and emptied his bulging sack of cream into her drawers... | Dave Lockwood |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip off now to meet her new gentleman friend, who's an avid collector of rare beetles. She says he has an incredible Long Horn, which he's keeping in a shoe box for her. He told her that if you tickle it, it jumps out half way across the table... (during the Entomologists' Song Book round) | Buxton
09 Jun 2003 |
| ...Samantha tells me she needs to leave now, as she's been nursing two elderly gentlemen who've been suffering from bedsores for some time. She says they like her to go in regularly to inspect their old chaps for any sign of improvement, and last week she had both of them up and out and waving through the window... (during the Pensioners' Song Book round) | Torquay
30 Jun 2003 |
| Samantha has just started keeping bees and already has three dozen or so. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration - he'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head... (during the Bee Keepers' Film Club round) | ISIHAC 7, Side 1 |
| Samantha has to go now, as she's off to meet her Italian gentleman friend, who's taking her out for an ice cream. She says she likes nothing better than to spend the evening licking the nuts off a large Neopolitan... (during the Italian Radio Times round) | ISIHAC 7, Side 2 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip off now, as she's auditioning as an extra in The Bill. She's really looking forward to that. According to the script, her character gets fingered by the fuzz... (during the Policemens' Song Book round) | ISIHAC 7, Side 3 |
| Samantha has been down to Portsmouth to help out her aunt, who runs a small seaside cafe. The shop is in two halves, a tearoom facing into the town, and a sandwich bar at the rear which is reached from the docks via a narrow alley. Business at the sandwich bar had been poor for some time, due to the method of access, but once news of Samatha's arrival reached the naval crews, her back passage was constantly full of seamen.... | Dave Lockwood |
| Incidentally, Samantha was telling me she went vegetarian this year, but she says she has had some pheasant & a bit of partridge this yuletide...perhaps she'll even enjoy a little goose. Either way, it's nice to see her back on the game... | 1995 Xmas Special
25 Dec 1995 |
| Samantha has successfully auditioned for yet another part in The Bill; she'll be a poker player in an illegal big-stakes game. With the tension high, her opponent tosses in his hand when she shows him her pair of aces... | Dave Lockwood |
| Samantha tells me she has to go now, as she's off to the country residence of her new gentleman friend who has some interesting birds in the thicket. He keeps a young chicken, but Samantha says there are also wild breeds there, and she can't wait his woodcock, poulet and swallow... (during the Ornithologists' Song Book round) | ISIHAC 8, Side 1 |
| Samantha tells me she has to go now, as she needs to nip out to see her local pharmacist. He keeps a wide range of tanning cream for her legs, and he's always happy to spread them out for her on the counter... (during the Pharmacists' Song Book round) | ISIHAC 8, Side 2 |
| Samantha has to rush off to meet her new footballer friend. He's very busy playing in the first and second rounds of an international, but she says there should be just time to give him a quick kiss between the legs... (during the Ladies' Film Club round) | ISIHAC 8, Side 3 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip off now to meet her new gentleman friend, who's an avid collector of rare beetles. She says he has an incredible Long Horn, which he's keeping in a shoe box for her. He told her that if you tickle it, it jumps out half way across the table... (during the Entomologists' Song Book round) | ISIHAC 8, Side 3 |
| ...Samantha is off on a dinner date with a gentleman friend from Moscow, who's brought over a variety of caviars and a rare vodka-based apperitif. She says he's going to offer her delicious food in her hotel room, and then liqour out on the balcony... (during the Russian Song Book round) | Winchester
17 Nov 2003 |
| ...Samantha's new boyfriend is a fisherman. Although she knows very little about reels or lines, she often has a hand in his flies... | Dave Lockwood |
| ...Samantha and her girlfriends have been practising impressions, and after a great deal of effort, they've pulled off Ali G, and the Staines Massive... | Dave Lockwood |
| ...Samantha has to leave us now, as she's off out for a lovely meal with a new chef friend, who's laying on a traditional shellfish evening. She says she's really looking forward to enjoying his special cockle night... (during the Fishermen's Theatre Club round) | Eastbourne
01 Dec 2003 |
| ...Samantha has to nip off now, as she's doing a fashion makeover on a gentleman friend. Yesterday she says she helped him choose new shoes, and was delighted to bend over to tie his laces as he tried a pair with a crepe sole and felt upper... (during the Menswear Department Film Club round) | Eastbourne
15 Dec 2003 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip off now, as she has a meeting with a builder who gave her the lowest estimate for some work. She says she was pleased to see his tender one, but was startled when it suddenly grew to twice the size... (during the Builders' Book Club round) | Leeds
08 Dec 2003 |
| ...Sadly Samantha is suffering from housemaid's knee in both legs, but it's alright, knees apart, she can't be faulted... (during the Late Arrivals at the Victorian Xmas Ball round) | 2003 Xmas Special
25 Dec 2003 |
| ...so while Samantha pops out to the local Shakespeare archive to enjoy the complete works... (during the Elizabethan Film Club round) | Best Of ISIHAC 2/3
13 Apr 1998 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she's been invited to an exclusive club to meet a group of aristocrats. She's very excited to see where all the big knobs hang out. She says at such a posh function, she and the other girls will probably end up trying to speak with plums in their mouths... (during the Aristocrats' Song Book round) | Dartford
31 May 2004 |
| ...Samantha is off just now to her vehicle maintenance evening class, where she says she's keen to strip a little Austin for a full service... (during the Mechanics' Book Club round) | Dartford
07 Jun 2004 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's off to see her new American gentleman friend. He's a cattle trader, and as Samantha is keen to buy a prime example, she's been saving up. Excitingly, she'll soon be in a position to receive her first Texas Longhorn... (during the Butchers' Book Club round) | Belfast
14 Jun 2004 |
| ...Samantha is off to sample some beers and whiskies at the Radio 2 party. She says she expects to enjoy having a pint, and a stiff Johnnie Walker chaser... (during the Drinkers' Film Club round) | Belfast
21 Jun 2004 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now as she's off to her evening class, where the baking instructor is going to assess her efforts. Last week he popped her bread roll straight into his mouth, and he's promised to try her muffin next week... (during the Bakers' Song Book round) | Salford
28 Jun 2004 |
| ...Samantha is off on a tour of the Lake District with a naturist gentleman friend who wants to strip off at Keswick and Cockermouth... (during the Naturists' Film Club round) | Salford
05 Jul 2004 |
| ...Samantha is an avid reader of the newspapers, and every Sunday she gets her newsagent to deliver them. She says she likes to have him place the Times open on the breakfast bar, and Observer spread out on the kitchen table... (during the Daily Mail Song Book round) | Basingstoke
06 Dec 2004 |
| ...Samantha tell us she has to nip off now to see her gentleman beautician friend now, who has a leg hair treatment for her. He lays ribbons of sticky wax paper on her thighs and then lets them dry. Then, Samantha says, she likes to watch as he rips the paper strips and wax off for her... (during the Hirsute Persons' Film Club round) | Basingstoke
13 Dec 2004 |
| Incidentally, Samantha was telling me she went vegetarian this year, but she says she has had some pheasant & a bit of partridge this yuletide...perhaps she'll even enjoy a little goose. Either way, it's nice to see her back on the game... | I'm Sorry I Haven't A Christmas Clue |
| Samantha has to nip out now. She tells us she's just qualified to become a magistrate, judging the cases of criminals, and is very keen to try a few hardened ones on the bench... (during the Lawyers' Song Book round) | Hull
20 Dec 2004 |
| ...Samantha tells me she's off to meet a gentleman friend who's taking her out to a restaurant that specializes in special combination pudding desserts. She says he can't resist a sticky tart with a sponge finger inside... (during the Gluttons' Film Club round) | Hull
03 Jan 2005 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip off to meet her new gentleman friend who's been ringing her all day in a grumpy mood. Despite being very busy, Samantha says she can always find time to handle his testy calls... (during the Grumpy Song Book round) | Tunbridge Wells
10 Jan 2005 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip out now as she's meeting her new gentleman friend at the local hospital where he's an anaesthetist. He's promised to introduce her to some of his patients, and later on Samantha is hoping he'll let her help him knock one out... (during the Accident & Emergency Film Club round) | Tunbridge Wells
17 Jan 2005 |
| ...Samantha has to nip off now, as she's on a training program for her new job in Burton's. This evening it's footwear, and the manager has promised to explain shoe sizes, and slipper lengths in the stock room... (during the Menswear Department Song Book round) | Ipswich
30 May 2005 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she likes to smoke fine cigars. Obviously smokers are banished from inside buildings these days, so she's off out the back to enjoy a hand rubbed Cuban in a doorway... (during the Smokers' Book Club round) | Ipswich
06 Jun 2005 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she's giving driving lessons to her new gentleman friend. He's a bit nervous about joining the fast major roads, but Samantha says in her careful hands, he'll soon learn how to pull out after a 50 mile-an-hour spurt... (during the Highway Code Song Book round) | Rhyl
13 Jun 2005 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's off to meet her new Welsh gentleman friend, who's offered to drive her round the area. She hopes he's going to take her to Colwyn Bay and Bangor in the back of his van... (during the Welsh Film Club round) | Rhyl
20 Jun 2005 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she's off to see a new gentleman friend who's in vacuum cleaner sales. He's offered Samantha a good deal on one of his products, and she says she can't wait to have her hands on her new Philip's upright... (during the Electrical Retailers' Film Club round) | Oxford
04 Jul 2005 |
| ...Samantha has to nip off now, as she's off for a spot of salmon fishing with her new Scottish gentleman friend. She says she hasn't fished for a while, but she was tempted when she saw his flies, and would like to keep her hand in... (during the Scottish Film Club round) | Edinburgh
01 Sep 2005 |
| ...Samantha has just returned from scattering the remains of an elderly Naval gentleman friend. She says she took his ashes aboard HMS Belfast, and as his former crew stood proudly to attention, Samantha solemnly tossed them over the side... (during the Funeral Directors' Song Book round) | London Palladium
14 Nov 2005 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she's off to meet her new zookeeper gentleman friend, who looks after the apes at Regents Park. She says she often pops round when he's checking the apes' enclosure, and loves watching him up on the climbing frame, hung like a baboon [ and obviously pleased to see her Not broadcast]... (during the Monkey House Film Club round) | London Palladium
21 Nov 2005 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she's meeting her new cheesemaker gentleman friend. He's been trying out new production methods, and tonight he's promised to show Samantha how he can put a strong blue vein in Caerphilly... (during the Cheesemongers' Song Book round) | Brighton
28 Nov 2005 |
| ...Samantha is off out now to meet her new gentleman friend, who's always trying to get her to eat in Burger King. Well, tonight she says she's going to take great pleasure in telling him exactly where he can stick his Whopper... (during the Unhealthy Eaters' Film Club round) | Brighton
05 Dec 2005 |
| ...Samantha tells me she's off out now to see a builder friend. He's putting an expensive new roof on the local naturists' clubhouse, where he has lifting gear installed on each end of eleven girders. Samantha says it's only at the very best naturists' club you'll find a man equipped with twenty-two winches... (during the Naturists' Song Book round) | Harrogate
19 Dec 2005 |
| ...Samantha has to leave us now, as she's off to meet her new Bishop friend, who treats her to inspirational readings. This evening she's looking forward to enjoying his sermon on the mount... (during the Vatican Film Club round) | Harrogate
26 Dec 2005 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she's off to meet a gentleman friend at an Indian restaurant down by the canal. She says there's nothing beats chewing on a tasty bhaji... (during the Curry House Song Book round) | Bristol
22 May 2006 |
| ...Samantha has heard that some people around here can be a bit hoity-toity, so she's nipping out now as she's keen to see if the town's snobs really can be stuck up... (during the Snobbish Film Club round) | Bristol
29 May 2006 |
| ...In fact, our own Samantha is suffering with a heavy cold, and so is off early to meet her new gentleman friend who's coming round with some medication. She says she's looking forward to rubbing a large portion of Vic on her chest... (during the Colds & 'Flu Song Book round) | Birmingham
05 Jun 2006 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she's off to meet a gardener gentleman friend. She says he's recently planted an apple orchard with a view to getting into commercial scrumpy production. Samantha says that if his forecasts are correct, he's going to be really big in cider... (during the Gardeners' Film Club round) | Birmingham
12 Jun 2006 |
| ...Samantha needs to nip out now as she has to buy a present for her new gentleman friend, who likes to play with his model boats at bathtime. Samantha says she's thought about him long and hard, and decided to give him a little tug for his birthday... (during the Bathroom Song Book round) | Halifax
19 Jun 2006 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she has a man coming round to insulate her roof space. Samantha says she's looking forward to the warm glow she'll have when she's got felt laid down in the loft... (during the Builders' Film Club round) | Halifax
26 Jun 2006 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's meeting a bird-watcher gentleman friend with whom she compares notes and photographs. Last time they met she showed him a chough, and he produced twelve finches... (during the Late Arrivals at the R.S.P.B. Ball round) | Southport
13 Nov 2006 |
| Samantha has to nip out now, as she's off to see an elderly gentleman friend. She says he's a bit of an old curmudgeon who doesn't like spending his money, but Samantha says if she butters him up properly, she can occasionally get him to splash out... (during the Misers' Film Club round) | Southport
20 Nov 2006 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's off to see a Scot's trawlerman friend, whose vessel needs to go in for repairs. Samantha says he's keen to lay her up in the Orkneys... (during the Late Arrivals at the Fishermen's Ball round) | Victoria Palace
27 Nov 2006 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's been collecting donations for a London teaching hospital, and needs to deliver some surgical instruments she's been storing. Samantha says she's alway happy to hang onto Guy's equipment for them, especially when they're so hard up... (during the Hospital Patients' Song Book round) | Victoria Palace
04 Dec 2006 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she has a gardener gentleman friend coming round who's going to teach her how to deal with her seedlings. Samantha says she can't wait to observe him prick out in the potting shed... (during the Late Arrivals at the Gardeners' Ball round) | Sunderland
11 Dec 2006 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's meeting a gentleman friend who she thinks is planning to buy her a spaniel. Samantha says she's not sure if he's going to get her a King Charles, or Cocker in the pet shop... (during the Dog Breeders' Song Book round) | Sunderland
18 Dec 2006 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's off to see her new gentleman friend who's just qualified as a vicar. Samantha says she's hoping he's going to practice his sermon on the mount... (during the Late Arrivals at the Old Testament Ball round) | London Coliseum
04 Jun 2007 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now to meet her new gentleman friend who's been giving her driving lessons. Sadly, Samantha has scratched his paintwork, and put a few dents in his car that they need to repair, so while Samantha gets stripping, he'll be knocking one out... (during the Learner Drivers' Film Club round) | London Coliseum
11 Jun 2007 |
| ...Samantha has to nip down to the corner shop to complain about their standard of newspaper delivery. They keep leaving her newspaper on the step. Samantha says she likes to start the day by pulling her Daily Mail through the letterbox... (during the Ornithologists' Corner Shop round) | Cardiff
18 Jun 2007 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's off with some Young Farmers to an exhibition of traditional ploughing methods. They have the correct plough-share and a pair of their favourite Shires to pull them. Samantha says she always enjoys an afternoon with a couple of farmers who are properly equipped, like horses and can keep them going for hours on a lump of sugar... (during the Farmers' Song Book round) | Cardiff
25 Jun 2007 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's off to do a spot of food shopping. She says that while she's a great fan of Mr. Sainsbury's traditional recipe Beef in Guinness, by way of a change tonight she's hoping to enjoy Mr. Dewhurst's famous Tongue in Cider... (during the Late Arrivals at the Butchers' Ball round) | Wimbledon
02 Jul 2007 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's meeting her new gentleman friend who's having trouble with his computer. Samantha is something of an I.T. expert, and she says she's looking forward to repairing his desktop, preventing it crashing and going down on him every couple of hours... (during the I.T. Film Club round) | Wimbledon
09 Jul 2007 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she's promised to style her new gentleman friend's hair for him. She says she's looking forward to doing a wash and a trim, before skilfully blowing him dry... (during the Late Arrivals at the Hairdressers' Ball round) | Croydon
12 Nov 2007 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's off to Ramsay's restaurant for a gin and tonic. She says she always likes to start the evening there with a mouthful of Gordon's... (during the Bartenders' Film Club round) | Croydon
19 Nov 2007 |
| Samantha has to nip out now, as she's off to visit her new farmer gentleman friend who is so committed to being organic, he uses working horses on his land. Samantha says he has a selection of wild flower seeds that need sowing, so she's offered to throw her legs in the saddle, ride down to the meadow, and spread them for him... (during the Farmers' Radio Times round) | Manchester
26 Nov 2007 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she's off to meet a gentleman friend who's helping her restore some old furniture. She's just purchased an antique chest of drawers which her friend says has suffered from having candles placed on it. Samantha says she's looking forward to stripping her new tall boy while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her... (during the Furniture Makers' Song Book round) | Manchester
03 Dec 2007 |
| ...Samantha's off to see her gentleman friend at his high class butcher's shop. When she ordered her Christmas turkey last year, he offered her a range of sizes and a choice of male or female bird. Samantha says she was very well satisfied after settling on an eighteen pound cock... (during the Butchers' Song Book round) | Peterborough
10 Dec 2007 |
| Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she's off to see her new gentleman friend who's put on a little extra weight round the middle lately. He has some pretty wild theories to explain it, but Samantha says she can just about see where he's coming from... (during the Overweight Radio Times round) | Peterborough
17 Dec 2007 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip off to meet her new gentleman friend who's been ringing her all day in a grumpy mood. Despite being very busy, Samantha says she can always find time to handle his testy calls... (during the Grumpy Song Book round) | ISIHAC 9, Side 1 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she likes to smoke fine cigars. Obviously smokers are banished from inside buildings these days, so she's off out the back to enjoy a hand rubbed Cuban in a doorway... (during the Smokers' Book Club round) | ISIHAC 9, Side 2 |
| ...Samantha tells me she has to nip out now, as she's been invited to an exclusive club to meet a group of aristocrats. She's very excited to see where all the big knobs hang out. She says at such a posh function, she and the other girls will probably end up trying to speak with plums in their mouths... (during the Aristocrats' Song Book round) | ISIHAC 9, Side 3 |
| ...Samantha has to leave us now, as she's off out for a lovely meal with a new chef friend, who's laying on a traditional shellfish evening. She says she's really looking forward to enjoying his special cockle night... (during the Fishermen's Theatre Club round) | ISIHAC 9, Side 4 |
| ...Samantha has to nip out now, as she likes to smoke fine cigars. Obviously smokers are banished from inside buildings these days, so she's off out the back to enjoy a hand rubbed Cuban in a doorway... (during the Smokers' Book Club round) | ISIHAC Classic Repeat
07 Jul 2008 |
| Samantha has to nip off now as she has a part-time job driving for a breeder who sells Spaniels to wealthy foreigners. Last week, she delivered a Springer and a King Charles Cavalier., and today, Samantha's hoping to have an American Cocker in the back of the van... (during the Dogs' Shops & Companies round) | Haymarket
22 Jun 2009 |
